I don't have anyone to share this 14th with, but I will next year, so it's all ok. I had myself. I went grocery shopping on Valentine's Day. It was the best way to love myself. I hate grocery shopping. I feel overwhelmed by what I SHOULD buy, I worry about buying too much and not making the right choices, I try to avoid aisles with my trigger foods in them. I try to not go hungry. I have a bad habit of not having food in my house. I don't know what this is all about, but I'm sure it has to do with the fact that food and I have a tough relationship and with all things hard, we try to avoid conflict. So, when I don't have food in the house, I don't have to hate the food. It's weird. I know.
One of my main goals this year is to actually PLAN and SHOP and FEED myself like normal people do. Screw perfection, I just want to feel normal. So, I did that on Valentine's Day. As I walked up and down the aisles, there were a lot of older single ladies there. Lots of OLD ones. Like 80. I helped a sweet one reach for her wheat thins on a shelf she couldn't reach. It didn't depress me. It just made me feel like part of the human race. And part of that race is slowing down and feeding yourself. I think, too often, we go on autopilot with our individual nourishment.
After shopping, I came home and prepared my breakfast and lunch for the next three days.
And. Well. They've been good days.