Three of Me

Can there really be three voices in my head instead of two? When did that ONE get all this competition? Would naming them even help? Perfect Penelope, Out of Control Chloe, and then, Simply Me? Does the simply me even want to be called "Stella" Was it the imperfect situations of my life, coupled with my voyeristic nature of watching other seemingly perfect families around me give me a sense of lack in my own self?

Who knows. I wish I didn't have to care. I wish these ideas of psychology didn't exist. I wish that inner reflection wasn't always weighing upon my mind--in conflict with the things I'm doing every day. Where does the balance of trying to become your best self and taking it to that extreme of demanding that you be good all of the time come from? Honestly, I though a lot of people were like me. I thought that what was going on in my head was just what went on in all heads. But seeing the laxidasical nature of many made me realize this wasn't so. I'm different. But I'm still like all those other people who are different like me. Many were geniuses, but many ended up in suicide or never reaching a state of peace. And while I don't have any suicidal tendencies, I have noticed that throughout my life the existential darkness has been developing and growing over the years. So, this is an honest exploration of self to temper Penelope and Chloe into a happy place of agreement with Simply Me.

Do you have it too? Those other voices in your head that sound like you, but they really aren't? I mean, they aren't your higher self? They are something loud, obnoxious and you might have gotten so used to what they are saying to you that you don't even know that they ARE NOT part of you?

Just think on that for a bit.