It is Safe

I went for another long walk yesterday and had a lot of time to think. Sometimes I try to release thoughts and reach a peaceful zen and other times I like to process through things and come to conclusions that are working for me.

I've realized something this week. Eating is safe. Eating the right amount of food for my body is safe. The word "safe" probably comes to you as being out of place, but I'm using it very intentionally. I never realized how many of my thoughts fight against food at every moment. White bread is bad for me, I shouldn't be eating this chocolate, I probably am going to gain weight from these potatoes and gravy, I can't believe I just put honey in my tea--hello blood sugar increase...maybe I shouldn't eat this fruit, cheese goes right to my thighs....and on and on and on. I have gotten SO used to constantly thinking these thoughts that they were more of a humming in my brain than something I was thinking consciously. Do you have similar thoughts that make you feel bad when you eat something, but you eat it anyway and then feel guilt on top of feeling bad?

I eat many meals with my sweet boss. As as I'm trying to be healthy, my initial route would be to avoid certain foods and stick to strict outlines of what is GOOD for me. I've tried this and failed for YEARS. She says that this just doesn't work. She said to just focus on eating normal amounts of food for now. When we eat together, she explains what's in each dish she makes and then she always says, "It can't hurt you, honey." Sometimes I like to believe that I'm pretty tough, that I have things pretty figured out and that I'm above simple phrases like that actually making a difference in my day. But EVERY time she says it, I believe it and I feel fine eating these foods. I don't feel the guilt and the shame and the fear and all the other things that I believed caused me to hold on to extra weight because I believe that it WOULD bring on extra weight.

I've been an advocate of "thoughts become things" for a long time, I've manifested lots of amazing things in my life--but never with my body or with food. So to start to believe that eating food is a "safe" thing and that it can't "hurt" me is actually pretty revolutionary and I can feel its affects on my body already.

It is safe. It really is.